You know you missed me.

Skinny Bitch is back! How excited are you?!? I bet you're finding it difficult to contain your excitement and stay seated at your computer to read the rest of this post. I know. I know. Exciting times.

So why start now, you ask?

1. There were multiple requests/demands for new posts. I was amazed at how many people had started reading this. I was even more amazed that anyone found me funny.
2. I'm sick of wearing a size 12. Yes. I will admit my pants size. It's not a pretty number...it's a mean scary monster that sucks at life.
3. Love handles are not lovely. Not at all. Flabby arms are not fabulous. Thunder thighs do not rock. I would like to go skinny dipping one day...not chunky dunking.
4. I have a brand new goal. An insane army-sponsored 10 mile obstacle course through mud to be held in January (details to follow). I should be detained in a padded room for at least 72 hours after considering this to be a good idea.

I'm sure you all have a lot more questions...like, what wonderfully delusional excuses can I come up with to explain my 3 month hiatus from not only posting on this blog, but also from working out? Well...I'll entertain you with a few of the good ones:

• At the end of July, we moved into a new apartment. This meant carrying all of our crap down three flights of stairs, loading it into the truck, and lugging it up an additional flight of stairs. I did not think it was possible to sweat as much as I did during that hellish nightmare. Literally, buckets of sweat. Not a pretty sight.
• My dad was recently diagnosed with Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma. For all of the readers who are not fluent in medical terminology, this means he has cancer. It's a great prognosis. But it's gonna be a helluva trip. Chemo every three weeks for at least 8 months. Now, him having cancer is not my excuse. Rather it was traveling back to Wisco to help my mom out for a few weeks. That woman would go crazy without having her favorite daughter there (no offense Katie, but we all know I'm the chosen one).

I know. I know. Excuses. Excuses. I suck. I get that. I'm not saying I don't. Don't be haters.

Keep a look out for more blog posts. I'll attempt at least one per week...maybe more if you're nice.

Peace out bitches. Just kidding. You know I love you.